He shakes his head. His blond hair is cut shorter on the side, slightly longer on top. He normally keeps it neatly slicked back but since he抯 fresh out of the shower it抯 damp and wavier than normal. 揑抦 okay. Get some rest. I抦 sure you need it.?
揟hank you for letting my mom come visit.?
He rolls his eyes, looking genuinely pissed. 揑抦 not going to tell your mom she can抰 visit梑esides, this place is still half yours, too.?
揅aleb棓
揕ook,?he stands up from the table, putting the Tupperware lid back on the container, 揑 know you抮e way more eager to be done with me than I am you梑ut you don抰 have to remind me all the time, okay??There抯 genuine hurt in his voice that stings my heart like an open wound.
揟hat抯 not what I meant.?I shake my head, hair falling forward to shield my face. 揧ou抮e just ?you抮e so good, Caleb. You抮e not the bad guy. I know that, and that makes this so much worse, because I am, and I never want you to think I抦 taking advantage of your kindness.?
He sighs, swiping a bottle of water from the fridge. 揇id you ever stop to think that you抮e not the villain either? Sometimes relationships aren抰 built to last and there is no bad guy. It抯 just two people who weren抰 meant to be.?
揘o.?I shake my head. 揑 didn抰。？
揑 don抰 blame you for the divorce, Salem. I know you love me even now, but sometimes that抯 not enough and I get it. Am I hurt? Yeah, of course I am. I pictured it all with you梐 house, cars, pets, kids,?he waves his hand around at the house over our heads, 揵ut this isn抰 the end of those things for me. I still have that little girl upstairs asleep in her princess room.?He smiles, probably thinking about the day we spent together turning it into her dream space. 揂nd one day, when the timing is right, I抣l meet someone else.?He shrugs, twisting the cap on the water bottle back and forth. 揕ife goes on. I抦 not broken.?
揑 just want you to be happy.?
揑 know. And I want the same for you梑ut you can抰 put my happiness on a timeline just so you feel better.?
His words smack me across the face. I didn抰 realize that was what I was doing, but he抯 completely right.
He slips from the kitchen, and I listen to the soft sound of his feet on the stairs before I go to the family room and lay down on the couch.
Sleep never comes.
CHAPTER 15
SALEM
When I pull into my mom抯 driveway, Thayer is in his unloading groceries. He raises his hand, shielding his eyes from the sun. Putting my SUV in park, I silently curse when I see Thayer in my rearview mirror. He walks up to my side and taps the window. Putting the window down, I can抰 help my sarcasm when I blurt, 揝olicitors aren抰 welcome here.?
It抯 obvious he wasn抰 expecting that. His lips twitch, trying not to laugh, but he finally gives in. Putting his hands up in front of his chest, 揘o soliciting here. I wanted to see if you needed some help.?
My mom leans around my body. 揌ow sweet. We抎 love some.?
I have to bite my tongue to not growl out, 揗om.?
Thayer crosses his arms, leaning into my car. He抯 right there. I can smell his familiar scent. It reminds me of the outdoors, woodsy and rugged. All man. He smiles at me. He knows what he抯 doing, pushing himself into my space and he抯 going to keep doing it. Our roles are entirely reversed from six years ago and I抦 not sure I like it. I must抳e been so annoying. He should抳e told me to take a hike.
揥hy don抰 you give me the keys and I抣l get the door unlocked for you??
揌uh.?I blink, stunned.
揟he keys.?He grins slowly. 揟o the house.?
My mom reaches over, turning off the ignition. She holds the keys out to him. 揟hank you, Thayer. That抯 so thoughtful of you.?
He takes the keys, retreating from the inside of my car and taking his intoxicating scent with him.
It抯 really unfair that it has been this long, and he still has a way of making me drunk off his presence. He could bottle that power up and sell it like a lethal weapon. It might only work against womankind, but let抯 be real the men are useless without us.
While Thayer unlocks the door, I get out of the car, taking a deep breath to help clear my head. It gets unreasonably foggy around him.
I make my way around the car to get my mom, but he抯 already getting her door and offering his hand.
It shouldn抰 make me mad that he抯 helping.
But it does.
He broke me梥hattered my heart, and now he抯 acting like the past didn抰 happen.
Since he抯 helping her inside, I grab her bag and follow them, all the while keeping my grumbling to myself.
He helps her into one of the kitchen chairs, saying something to her I can抰 hear as he does.
I抦 annoyed梩hat he抯 here. That he抯 helping. That he抯 in my space. And most importantly that he still makes me feel things. This is why I was scared to come back here. I worried my feelings for him were still just as strong. Turns out, I was right to be afraid.
Yanking open the refrigerator more forceful than necessary, I swipe a Diet Coke and turn around, popping the top on the can. Thayer抯 eyes flicker from the can to my eyes.
揥ater抯 better for you.?
揑抳e been told a time or two.?
揧ou really should drink more water, Salem.?Now my mom抯 joining in on the let抯 slander Salem for her love of soda.
揜ight now, this what I want. I could have worse vices, you know? I could be a homicidal maniac.?
Thayer抯 chuckle is amused. 揑 thought most people used the drug addict analogy.?
揑抦 not most people.?
He ducks his head, unable to hide his growing smile. 揘o, you抮e certainly not.?
揑抦 feeling really tired,?my mom announces. I quickly set my drink down and rush to her side, but I can抰 get to her with Thayer抯 big body blocking me. 揇o you want to lay down??I ask from behind Thayer, trying to peer over his big shoulders but it抯 impossible unless I stand on my tiptoes and use his arm for support and I抦 not touching him.
揟hat might be a good idea.?
揑抳e got her.?Thayer dismisses me, helping my mother up. She moves on her own two feet holding onto his side, but I know he抣l scoop her up in a second if she shows signs of needing it.
She settles in the hospital bed, her eyes heavy. 揥hy don抰 you two go do something? I抦 going to be napping anyway.?
揥hy would we棓 I start, but Thayer swoops in and cuts me off.
揟hat sounds like a great idea, Allie. You sleep and we抣l be back soon. Call us if you need anything.?
Steam practically shoots out of my ears.
揧ou can抰 just棓 He puts a hand on my lower waist, guiding me away from my mom back to the kitchen. 揑抦 not going anywhere with you,?I snap.
揥hy not??He argues back, a stupid little smirk on his lips. I hate more than anything that this amuses him. 揥e still have plenty to talk about.?
I square my shoulders. 揑 know that, but I don抰 want to talk about it right now.?
揑 have a feeling you won抰 want to talk about it ever. Why don抰 we just go for a drive??
揗y mom棓
揋et out of here and leave me alone! I need my beauty sleep!?she yells in a croaky voice, overhearing us.
I glower at the man who towers above me. 揊ine,?I bite out. 揕ead the way.?
He saunters out first, and I almost slam the door shut and lock it behind him.
Almost.
The only thing that stops me is my mom抯 demand for us to leave. I know her time is limited, but I can抰 imagine how I抎 feel in her position with people always hovering. She should be allowed to have some time to herself. Even if it抣l worry me sick.