揑 want to be back here in thirty minutes.?I point a finger forcefully at the driveway to drive home my point.
揂ll right.?He walks backwards, hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts. 揟hen walk faster. We have twenty-nine minutes and棓 he looks at the watch on his wrist 摋forty-eight seconds left.?
I don抰 think I抳e ever met anyone more infuriating.
揥ere you always this annoying and I was too dumb to see it??
A flash of pain pierces his face, but he quickly schools his expression back into place. I can抰 help but feel bad for letting that comment slip. I find it particularly difficult to bite my tongue around him.
He unlocks his truck, the scent of brand-new leather hitting my nose. He lets me climb inside but doesn抰 shut the door right away. 揇o you hate me, Salem??He抯 not asking it in a joking way. He抯 serious, and worried to.
I duck my head, my blonde hair falling forward to shield my face. 揘o,?I admit softly. 揑 could never hate you, Thayer.?
He was my first true love梞aybe my only one.
He抯 the father of my child.
I don抰 have it in me to hate him.
But that doesn抰 mean any of this is easy.
揋ood. That means there抯 a chance.?His eyes are relieved. He closes the door and moves around the front of his truck.
I let his one comment go, not wanting to touch that. 揥here are we going??
He cranks the engine, turning the AC all the way up.
揕ike I said, for a drive.?
揂ll right.?I look out the window at my mom抯 house. The hydrangea bushes in the front are lush and full. I can抰 help but wonder if the man at my side has anything to do with that. But I won抰 dare ask.
We drive away and it isn抰 long until we抮e out of the town limits, cruising the roads.
揑 thought you wanted to talk,?I prompt stupidly.
A tiny grin graces his lips. 揂nd I thought you didn抰。？
揑抦 locked in a car with you, I might as well speak.?
He rubs at his jaw. 揟ell me something, anything about the past six years.?
It抯 on the tip of my tongue to ask him why he cares, but I bite back the words. I抦 being defensive and it抯 stupid. I抦 a grown woman now and I swore to myself I抎 leave the past in the past, so I need to do a better job of actually practicing that. It抯 just that seeing him, being around him, leaves me feeling conflicted. I hate being thrown off balance.
揥ell,?I clear my throat, 搕here抯 not a whole lot to tell.?
You know, except for the kid bomb I need to drop on you at some point.
I don抰 want to keep Seda a secret from him. That was never the plan. I抳e imagined a million different ways of telling him and none of them seem right. I don抰 think there is a right way to tell him. I just have to do it.
揋ive me something. Anything.?He sounds almost desperate to know about my life without him.
揑 lived with Lauren in Brooklyn for a while, got a job waitressing. Came back to Boston and lived in an apartment with Caleb when we got engaged. We ended up moving to California for him to finish school and start practicing law. Then he got a job offer back in Boston that was too good to pass up. That抯 about it.?I shrug, my eyes glued out the window, ignoring his gaze on me.
揇id you ever go to college??
揘o.?
揥hat about jobs??
I was a stay-at-home mom.
揓ust some random things from time to time. Nothing really stuck.?
揧ou just ?huh.?He scratches his jaw, contemplating.
揧ou really thought you were holding me back??
揑 guess even after your passioned speech, it made me feel better to think I抎 cut you loose so you could do something with your life.?
A flash of anger erupts in my veins. 揓ust because I didn抰 go to college or have a steady job doesn抰 mean I haven抰 done anything with my life.?
揝orry,?he sounds sincere, 揑 didn抰 mean for it to sound like that.?
I sigh. 揘o, I抦 sorry. I seem to be a tad defensive when it comes to you.?
He smiles over at me, his fingers flexing against the steering wheel. 揂 tad??
揙kay, a lot. I抣l work on it.?
揑 like your anger.?
I look at him like he抯 lost his ever-loving mind. 揧ou like my anger??I volley. 揂re you insane??
His eyes meet mine for a brief moment before they抮e back on the road. 揑f you抮e angry at me, it means you still care.?
He has a point there. I look down at my legs, bare since I wore a pair of high-waisted shorts. 揑 don抰 want to be angry at you,?I admit in a whisper.
揟hen why are you??I notice the way the muscle in his jaw twitches, waiting for my response.
揃ecause it抯 easier than admitting the truth.?
The God-awful disgusting truth.
揂nd what抯 the truth??
揇on抰 make me say it,?I beg with a shake of my head. I don抰 want to say it out loud. That makes it all the more real and makes me an even shittier person than I already am.
揑 think I need to hear you say it.?
I bite my lip, holding back tears. My voice is barely above a whisper when I say, 揑 never stopped caring about you. I moved on, but my heart didn抰。？
He pulls the truck abruptly off to the side of the road. Gravel and dirt kick up behind us as he slams the vehicle into park. He turns slowly in his seat to look at me.
揟hayer棓 I start to question, but he doesn抰 give me a chance to finish my thought. He cups my cheek in one hand, his mouth descending on mine in less than a heartbeat.
There抯 a second there where my brain wants to fight back.
He hurt you! It cries out, wanting me to push him away, but I can抰。 My body doesn抰 get the memo. It sinks into him, sighing in relief at the feel of his mouth on mine. I think I抎 convinced myself that our connection wasn抰 as strong as I believed, but it was梚t is. There are all kinds of different loves in the world, but the kind I share with Thayer can抰 be broken by time, or distance, or anything else. We could be on separate continents, and it would still exist in this form.
His name is a whisper on my lips when he deepens the kiss.
A part of my brain is convinced this is a dream.
There抯 no way this can be real.
But then I take inventory梩he scratch of his scruff against my face, the fabric of his shirt scrunched in my hands, the rough feel of his hands on my face梐nd I know that this is very real.
He pulls away, just slightly, our breaths still mingling together. 揧ou come back here, to this town, and it抯 like you never even left.?
I close my eyes, exhaling shakily. 揃ut I did.?
His tongue slips out, moistening his lips. 揃ut you did,?he echoes. I wait for him to pull away, to put a pin in this. I didn抰 come back here thinking we抎 have a second chance. Instead, he shocks me when he says, 揇ate me.?
揥hat??I stutter, convinced I couldn抰 have possibly heard him right.
揇ate me,?he repeats, scanning my face. 揥e ?I,?he corrects, 搉ever did things right with you before. Let me change that. Go on a date with me.?
My eyes narrow stubbornly. 揂re you asking me or telling me??
He grins, shaking his head. I stupidly love the way his hair falls over his forehead. I itch to brush it back, but clasp my hands together instead.
揥ill you go on a date with me, Salem? A real date??
I hesitate, my heart skipping a beat. But there抯 only one answer I can give Thayer.
揧es.?
CHAPTER 16
THAYER
Salem climbs out of my truck with a quiet goodbye, walking back over to her mom抯 house. My phone is still lit up with her contact information where I put in her new number.
I can still taste her mouth on mine. Smiling, I rub my fingers over my lips.