I can do this.
I抦 a strong, powerful woman. I won抰 let any man make me feel down.
Only, when I go around the side of the fence, there抯 no vehicle in his driveway.
That抯 good ?I guess.
But as long as I抦 staying at my mom抯 place it doesn抰 matter. I抣l run into him eventually and I抦 not sure how that makes me feel.
Georgia comes in the side door with bags of food. Her scrub top is stretched over the swell of her belly, and I can抰 help but smile.
揙h, look at you,?I coo. 揅an I feel??I ask, taking the bags from her and putting them on the table.
She sighs, jutting out her belly. 揋o for it. This one is just like his dad. Never still. I抦 exhausted. He keeps me up all night kicking.?
揧ou found out it抯 a boy??
She grins from ear to ear. 揧eah, just the other day. Three boys, can you believe it? I always thought I抎 be a girl mom, but you know, I wouldn抰 have it any other way.?She places her hand on her stomach by mine. 揇on抰 you want another??
揑 think I抳e got all I can handle right now.?
揑 don抰 know how you can stand being away from her,?she goes on, 揑 know your reasonings, but厰 We both look to where our mom still sleeps in the living room. She抯 slept ever since she laid down.
揑t抯 killing me being away from her, but she doesn抰 need to see her grandma like this.?I motion to all the medical equipment and our mom抯 sleeping, frail form. 揝he抯 too young. I know she抯 in good hands with Caleb anyway and we FaceTime any chance we get.?
Georgia shakes her head and pulls out a box of fries from Wendy抯 shoving around five in her mouth at once. 揑 was shocked when you said you guys were getting a divorce. I always thought you had it together so well. I mean, that boy stepped up to the plate and married you when you had someone else抯 kid.?
I lower my head. It was no secret to any of our families that my daughter wasn抰 Caleb抯。 We didn抰 want to lie to them or to her either about her parentage, but no one except Caleb and Lauren know who her real father is.
I still remember the hate Caleb抯 mother spewed at him when we told her. She couldn抰 understand him taking me back, marrying me, when I was having a child that wasn抰 his.
She stopped talking to him right after that. Didn抰 even come to the wedding.
I抳e never forgiven myself for that. I was never her biggest fan, but she抯 Caleb抯 mom. I haven抰 had the heart to ask him if she抯 contacted him since our divorce.
揅aleb抯 a good man,?I tell her, rifling through the bags of food. 揃ut he抯 not the right man for me.?
She shakes her head, clucking her tongue. 揊orgive me, but you抮e stupid.?
I laugh, pulling out a wrapped burger. 揑 know.?
Believe me, I抦 all too aware of my mistakes and sins. Caleb being at the top of the list. The worst part is, he抯 still my best friend. But I guess that makes things easier in a way with Seda involved. My daughter is just as much his as she is mine. It抯 not only DNA that makes a parent, it抯 how you behave, and Caleb is the best daddy to our little girl. He抯 never, not once, treated her like she抯 not his.
She lowers her voice to a whisper, 揇o you think you抣l stay here or move back to Boston after mom??
揑 won抰 stay in Boston,?I answer quickly. I抳e never been a city girl and I抳e had enough of them in the past few years. 揃ut I don抰 know if I抣l stay here either.?
She looks around, pondering. 揟his is a good house. If you decide to stay.?
揑 don抰 think I could live here.?
It抯 not just about Thayer, though he抯 a factor, but this is our mom抯 house, and I don抰 think I抎 ever feel like it was mine.
揧eah.?She lowers her head sadly, eyes flicking to where our mom slumbers in the next room. 揑 understand. I抦 not sure I actually could either.?Pulling her hair over one shoulder, she says, 揅hristy, one of my nurse friends said she could stay with mom for a day and night this weekend. I thought you might want to use the time to see Seda, but I wanted to run it by you first before confirming with her.?
揟hat would be great,?I tell her honestly, feeling relief flood my chest.
I know Seda is in great hands with Caleb, but I hate being away from my little girl. I didn抰 want her to be around my mom while she抯 dying. Death is inevitable, but no child should see someone they love disintegrate right before their eyes. It抯 not that I won抰 let her see my mom at all, but I don抰 want her staying here around this twenty-four-seven. Besides, she has school and she抯 currently enrolled in Boston. I wasn抰 going to yank her out with only a few weeks left of the school year.
揂wesome, I抣l let her know. She抯 a great person and a wonderful nurse so you don抰 need to worry. Mom will be in great hands.?
That抯 Georgia梥he might be a bit of a wild card, but she抯 always taking care of us.
揑 love you,?I tell her.
揂w, I love you, too. And I抦 so happy you抮e back for however long as that is.?
揟hanks. It抯 good to be back.?
And surprisingly, it抯 not even a lie.
CHAPTER 4
SALEM
Driving down to the local grocery store, I park and hesitate before going inside. The fridge at home isn抰 well-stocked and I want to get some things for meals, but I抦 dreading this trip because I抦 bound to run into someone I know, and small towns love drama. Me returning to town after my divorce梩hat抯 huge news for them.
I made a list before leaving the house, so that once I get inside, I won抰 need to think over what I might need for cooking meals.
Regardless, I can only go so fast.
Grabbing my purse, I hop out of my SUV and scurry into the store with my head ducked low. Swiping a cart, I make my way to the produce section. If anyone抯 watching me, I抦 sure they抮e amused with how fast I move. But the quicker I go, the sooner I抣l be out of here, and the less chance there is of someone interrupting.
I make it all the way to the frozen section where I抦 looking at the ice cream when someone says my name.
揟helma,?I smile, and it抯 genuine梕ven if she is a nosy busybody. 揌ow are you? And you too Cynthia. It抯 good to see you guys. And together.?
Thelma shrugs, leaning over to kiss Cynthia抯 cheek. 揥e抮e too old to stay in the closet anymore. You抮e back in town for your mother??I nod. 揑t抯 just awful. She抯 so young梬ell, young to someone my age, you see, and棓
揑抦 actually finishing up shopping and heading back to her so棓 I quickly reach inside and grab a random tub of ice cream. 揑抣l just be going.?
揌ave you seen that man of yours yet??
I cock my head to the side. 揥ho??My heart thunders. I know exactly who she抯 talking about.
揇on抰 play coy with me, girl,?she snaps a finger, eyes twinkling. 揧ou know exactly who I抦 talking about.?
揘o, I haven抰。？
揌uh.?She clucks her tongue. 揑nteresting.?
I shrug. 揌e抯 moved on.?It抯 been six years, I don抰 for a minute think he hasn抰。
She laughs like I抳e told the funniest joke she抯 ever heard. 揙h, that抯 a funny one, girl. That man厰 She shakes her head. 揌e hasn抰 moved on. I抦 not sure you have either.?She looks me up and down. 揑f you had, you would抳e come back sooner.?
With that, her and Cynthia walk down the aisle away from me.
I look down at the ice cream I picked.
Peanut butter Oreo.
Gross.
I put it back and grab cookie dough.
Much better.
揗om, I抦 home,?I call out, bringing in the first load of groceries. I tried to get it all in one trip, then quickly realized that was next to impossible. 揂re you hungry? I thought I抎 make chicken sandwiches for dinner??