揓ust yourself.?
揑 can do that.?
I dip my head, reaching for the doorknob.
揋ood.?
I let myself in and lean against the closed door.
What the hell? I went from not seeing the man for years to finally laying eyes on him again and now we抮e having dinner tonight梐ll thanks to my mom.
It抯 just weird.
CHAPTER 8
THAYER
I close the front door behind me, standing in the foyer shell-shocked.
Salem抯 back in town.
She抯 back.
She抯 divorced.
And I have no fucking idea how long she抯 going to be here.
Now, I抦 supposed to have dinner with her and her mom. I can抰 help thinking Allie planned this on purpose. She抯 known about Salem and me since Forrest抯 birthday that year. I guess now that Salem抯 divorced, she抯 playing matchmaker.
Rubbing a hand over my jaw, I head into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. I gulp down half of it in just a few swallows.
I抦 having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that Salem抯 here.
Moving on from her should抳e been easy in theory桰 was with her less time than I was with my ex-wife. But it didn抰 work that way. I never expected it to, either, not with how intense my feelings were for her.
I moved on though梟ot in the physical sense, but mentally. I accepted that she had married and her life would carry on as it should, while I抎 still be here.
That抯 not the course things have taken, and that means, maybe, just fucking maybe, I have a second chance to get our love story right.
CHAPTER 9
SALEM
I set the table for three and then lay out the dishes I made across the counter so Thayer and I can serve ourselves buffet style桰抣l make a plate up for my mom so she抯 not on her feet too long梐nd that way the table won抰 be too cluttered.
揑t smells good.?
My mom抯 voice comes from the doorway, my head jerks up quickly in response.
揗om, you抮e supposed to ask for help before you get up.?
She waves a dismissive hand. 揑抦 not dead yet.?This is her only argument.
My shoulders collapse. 揂nd I抎 like to keep it that way for as long as possible.?
揑 had to pee,?she argues.
揝ince you抮e already up, go ahead and have a seat. I抣l fix your plate.?There抯 no point in arguing with her. Unless she absolutely has no energy to do something, there抯 no getting her to cooperate.
揑抦 not very hungry.?
I narrow my eyes on her as she pulls out the chair where there抯 only one place setting, meaning I抣l be forced to sit beside Thayer or move the placemat and everything, which would look weird if I did.
揑抦 going to put a little of everything on your plate. At least try to take one bite of each.?She looks grossed out at the thought, but nods. 揥hy did you invite Thayer over for dinner if you don抰 even want to eat dinner??
揑 was being neighborly, Salem. He抯 a nice man.?
My shoulders stiffen and I turn away, washing my hands in the sink. 揇o you like him??
She snorts a laugh. 揑抦 dying, Salem. I don抰 have time to like anyone in the way you抮e implying. But I do like him as a person.?
揌mm,?I hum.
There抯 a knock on the side door at 4:59 and I turn the lock, letting him in. I can抰 help myself when my eyes rake over him. His hair is freshly washed, still damp from a shower. I greedily take in the light stubble on his jaw, up close and personal this time. His brown eyes are warm chocolate that I want to melt in. He even smells of cologne, like he put in a little extra effort tonight.
No! Stop it! You can抰 let this man make you all weak in the knees again! He抯 done enough damage.
But I can抰 help it.
I抦 looking at him with new eyes, older eyes. I抦 no longer that freshly pregnant nineteen-year-old who was scared out of her mind. Looking back, I know I made the decision I thought I had to. Was it the best choice? In hindsight, probably not, but life is a series of choices and at the time you don抰 always know whether it抯 good or bad. You just do what you can with the information you have.
Back then, I was terrified to be a mom, but there was never a question in my mind about keeping the baby.
But Thayer was spiraling after losing Forrest, understandable yes, but I couldn抰 pull him out of that梟ot on my own. He had to do it, and I knew it. But I had to make sure my baby was going to be safe and taken care of, so I did that the best way I could, and that meant giving Thayer space.
I thought ?I thought he抎 find me.
Call me.
Text me.
Send a fucking carrier pigeon for God抯 sake, but he never did, and I felt used and thrown away.
揑s something on my face??
揙h!?I jump away, knocking my hip into the corner of the counter. 揙w!?
揅areful.?He grips my wrist, steadying me. Electricity shoots up my arm at his touch.
揑抦 okay.?I pull gently from his grasp, not wanting to betray my true feelings.
He lets me go and holds up a bottle of wine I didn抰 know he was holding. 揑 wasn抰 sure what we were having, but I didn抰 want to come with nothing.?
揙h, how sweet.?My mom smiles. 揟hank you, Thayer. Isn抰 that nice, Salem??
揝o nice,?I mimic woodenly, turning away. 揕et me grab glasses,?I mutter, distracted.
If I didn抰 know better, I would swear my mom is trying to play matchmaker with Mr. Broody. I wonder what she抎 say if she knew he broke my heart or that he抯 Seda抯 father. I wonder, since they抮e friends, if he knows I have a child. I抦 guessing not or I think he would抳e brought it up when he mentioned my marriage.
I add wine glasses to the table while Thayer chats with my mom. I make her a plate and set it in front of her.
揧ou can get your own plate,?I tell Thayer.
揝alem!?My mom scolds.
My cheeks flush. 揑 just meant he can pick and choose what he wants.?
Turning my back on them, I grab my plate and start piling food onto it. I don抰 pay attention to what I抦 doing and it抯 only when Thayer says, 揑 don抰 think chicken goes on top of mashed potatoes,?his long finger pointing at the gravy I made and should have been spooning on instead, that I jolt back to reality.
I close my eyes, mortified. It has to be obvious to him, that even after all this time I抦 still affected by him. Still hopelessly enamored for God knows why.
He broke your heart!
He broke it, and yet, that stupid organ races in my chest at an accelerated rate for him.
I hate him.
I hate myself.
I hate this.
That he抯 here, in my mom抯 kitchen. That she抯 dying. That Seda is in Boston.
I just?
揌ere, let me help you.?He takes my plate from me, raking the roasted chicken off my potatoes and fixing my plate.
揗aybe I wanted my chicken on my potatoes,?I grumble.
He arches a brow. 揇o you??
揥ell, no.?
He doesn抰 wait for me to say anything further. He finishes my plate, carrying it to the table. He places it on the spot in front of my mom. Pulling out the chair, he turns to me with a tilt of his head. 揂re you going to sit down??
揢m, yeah.?
I really hate that he has me so disoriented. It抯 like I can抰 tell up from down or left from right.
Sitting down, he scoots my chair in and I let out a tiny squeak of surprise at the gesture.
Does he not see how weird all of this is?
My mom looks down at her plate, but I don抰 miss the flash of a smile.
揥hat are you smiling about??
揘othing.?
揕iar,?I grumble.
She mock-gasps, and it turns into a cough, which instantly has me on alert. Luckily, it stops before I become too worried.