Her lips puckered, and long lashes brushed her cheeks. That was enough of a reaction for me. Anything she did was fucking amazing.
By day three, my sister and mother kicked me out. According to them, I was a walking zombie. And maybe I was. But the fact was, I preferred camping out in the hospital to facing the unknown outside of it.
Elliot was waiting for me out front. As much as I didn’t want to be dependent on anyone, I hadn’t slept in days, and I had no business driving.
“How is the baby?” he asked once I was buckled.
“She’s healthy. Eating like a champ.” I sighed, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I hate that she was born in the midst of a shit show.”
“Clara will rally.”
I nodded. My sister was more than capable of handling motherhood. This wasn’t her plan, and her heart was broken, but she was determined. When Clara was determined, whatever she wanted to make happen, she did. That was who she was.
“She’s already rallying.”
His thumbs tapped on the wheel as he drove through the quiet streets of Denver. It was early. Not many people were out yet. The more distance we put between us and the hospital, the more my mental fog lifted. It was like emerging from a days’-long fugue state and clarity was returning little by little.
“I saw Saoirse leaving the hospital.”
I whipped my head in his direction. “When?”
“The first night. She asked me to be there for you since you didn’t want her there.”
This sinking sensation was nothing like the one I’d had when holding Nellie. This was being pulled under by quicksand, compressing my chest until I couldn’t breathe. I’d pushed everything but Clara and the baby from my mind in the haze of all that had been going on, and it all came slamming back.
“I can’t talk about that right now.”
Normally, that would be all I needed to say to get Elliot to back off, but not this time. He stayed silent for all of a minute.
“I’ve known Saoirse for a long time now, and I have never seen her like that. She looked like a kicked dog. And I think you did the kicking.”
The edge in his tone had me sitting up straight. Something about it prickled my senses, alerting me.
“We had a disagreement.”
He huffed. “Is that what you call telling your wife she can’t be at the hospital?” He glanced at me through narrowed eyes. “I’ve known you a long time too, and I never thought you had it in you to be cruel.”
“Cruel? You have no idea what happened between us.”
“Did she do something worth treating her like garbage? Is that what you’re telling me?”
I opened my mouth to say yes, but nothing came out. The raw truth was Saoirse hadn’t done anything wrong. It was all on me. I’d been the one to demand things of her I had no right to. I lost my temper and yelled. I spoke to her like she was nothing when she was exactly the opposite.
“No. She didn’t,” I admitted, and it was like chewing glass. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t want the same things I did. She’d been honest from the beginning. I was the one who’d deviated from the arrangement.
“I don’t care what you do. Find a way to fix it.”
The same awareness prickled. I recognized it now. Territorialism. “Why are you so concerned about my wife? Are you lining up to take my place or something?”
Elliot burst into laughter, which was a rare sight. “Oh, you’re so far gone. I’ll let that slide since you haven’t slept in days. Once you’re rested, I expect you’ll recognize how wrong what you just said was on every level.”
“You’re right. That was out of line. I’m just surprised at your level of care over Saoirse.”
His fingers flexed on the steering wheel, but that was the only sign he was pissed at me. “There are very few people who are important to me. Elise is one of them. You’re another. Being her best friend and your wife, Saoirse falls into that category because of who she is to you both. I don’t want to have to explain to my sister why her best friend’s husband dicked her over. So fix it before it comes to that.”
“I don’t know if it can be fixed.”
“You’re a smooth talker. I don’t doubt you have it in you.”
Elliot left me with that vote of confidence, and since it was the only confidence I had, I took it.
The doorman smiled and waved at me as I walked in. I would have kept going with a nod if he hadn’t called me over.
“You’re back, Mr. Rossi?”
I cocked my head, unsure why he was asking. We didn’t usually exchange niceties. “I’m back.”
“That’s great. Don’t worry about Clementine. I kept her company the last few days. Easy as pie.”
I stared at him, unsure if my exhaustion was confusing me more than I thought. “You took care of my cat?”
He nodded slowly, his brow furrowing. “Sure. Mrs. Rossi asked me to. Did I do something wrong?”
I stepped back, shaking my head. What the fuck? Why would Saoirse have asked this guy to take care of Clem?
Needing to go upstairs and get to the bottom of what was going on, I offered a quick thanks and strode to the elevator, punching the button for the penthouse.
The minute I walked in the door, Clementine came striding up to me. I scooped her into my arms and kissed the top of her head.
“Where’s your mother?”
She meowed, which wasn’t any help. But I didn’t need my cat to tell me the condo was empty. Saoirse’s presence was unmistakable, and this morning, it was absent. If not for Clem, I would have said my home felt hollowed out.
But maybe that was just me.
I had to get my life together. With Miller gone and Clara out on leave, Rossi needed me to be there more than ever. I should have been taking a power nap, a quick shower, throwing on a suit, and heading into the office. It was the responsible thing to do.
Duty to my family and my company had me swaying on my feet. I needed to make a move, but which way?
I really only had to think for a few seconds before my choice was obvious.
My next move would be in the direction of Saoirse, wherever she had gone.
Carrying Clem through the condo, I searched for clues. My stomach clenched with disappointment at the empty den. I’d been holding out hope I’d find her in there.
Clem jumped out of my arms when I entered our bedroom. Saoirse’s scent hung in the air but nowhere near strong enough for my liking. She’d invaded every corner of my home. Of me. And I never wanted to go back to the cobwebs that had been there before. She’d brought so much light and sweetness.
There was a sheet of paper in the center of our bed. Unmissable. I sat down on the edge and picked it up. My hand shook as I read.
Luca,
I’m going to spend some time in Wyoming to give us both the space I think we need. I’ll be working from the ranch for the next two weeks. When I come back, I hope we can sit down and have a conversation about where we go from here. If you want to end the arrangement completely, I understand. There won’t be any hard feelings on my end.
If you need anything, or if something changes with Clara and the baby, please let me know and I’ll be back as soon as I can get there. No matter what happens with us, I’ll always be there if you need me.