Totally and Completely Fine(96)

Not that I cared. This was our last night. I was going to indulge in every feeling, in every thought, in every desire that I had.

I thanked the gods of safe sex for my IUD.

Ben’s belt was unbuckled, his jeans just slightly open at the waist. Starting at his belly—enjoying the way his skin jumped under my touch—I ran my hands upward, palms spreading outward as I reached for his shoulders.

The moon made the wispy cotton sky glow.

Ben put his hands on the widest part of my hips, fingers curling around to my ass, and then, with a sharp tug, pulled me forward and up. I was pressed against him—the seams of our jeans lined up perfectly—my toes curling as he rolled his hips to mine.

Locking my ankles around his back, I pulled his mouth to mine and we kissed like that, nearly fully clothed and thrusting against each other with a sweet wildness. My shirt was pulled free, and I felt the night air on my breasts for less than a moment before Ben’s hands were there to warm them.

“These fucking tits,” he said, before using his lips to trace circles around my nipples—one at a time.

I reached between us for his zipper and ended up knocking my forehead into his chin. We both pulled back with a wince, and then a laugh, me rubbing my forehead ruefully, while he tested his jaw with a grin.

“Maybe we should do this separately,” I said.

Quickly we got rid of the rest of our clothes. I barely had a chance to remove my socks before Ben was reaching for me. His body was hot and heavy on mine—the perfect protection from the cold—and his mouth gave soft, biting kisses against my neck.

I threaded my hands into his hair, letting it fall through my fingers before gathering it up again and again. I closed my eyes, trying to capture the sensation forever—the beautiful sensuality of touch.

Ben’s hand was tracing the back of my thigh as he pulled one leg up high and tight against his side. Each time we were together, it seemed he made it his mission to find something new that I liked. This move had been the latest discovery.

His mouth moved to my collarbone, his teeth dragging carefully across it. I arched up against him, wanting everything and more.

My body hummed, eager for pleasure, for release. But my mind wanted it to go on forever—wanted to stay in this moment for as long as possible.

I pulled Ben’s mouth back to mine, my tongue finding his in a hot, sloppy tangle that had us both panting. With my leg still hooked around his back, I swung the other up, capturing him between my thighs as I pushed my hips up against his.

I’d discovered things he liked as well.

Ben pressed me against the blanket, unfolding me onto the ground. His hand skimmed down my stomach as he inched backward on his knees, eyes blazing in the dim light.

He kissed the inside of my thigh before sliding his hands under my ass and lifting my hips to his mouth. My voice was swallowed up by the night air as he drew his nose across my clit, almost playfully, before pressing the flat of his tongue in its place.

There was his hair again, the soft, smooth strands falling through my fingers. I pushed, and he pulled, as if there were some way we could bring our bodies closer. My legs were around his neck, his arms reaching up past my hips to grasp my hands as I bucked against him.

His tongue went deep, and I could feel his hum of pleasure.

He kissed me until my hips jutted forward, my back arching, body moving of its own accord. My breath was labored, clit throbbing, as he climbed up my body.

I cataloged every groan, every kiss, every touch, determined to remember this. Not all of us had the chance to savor our last time. I wasn’t going to lose it again. My fingers drew patterns along his arms as if I could brand him. As if I could leave my mark.

Just as he’d left his.

It was almost too much. The pleasure, the pain.

I took his face and kissed him, chasing away all thought. I felt his cock against my stomach. Felt his hand skate along my waist. Felt the roughness of his leg against mine. Felt. Felt. Felt.

He touched me. One finger, then two.

“Ben,” I pleaded.

He kissed me. Kissed me and fucked me with his fingers until I came again.

“I hate you,” I said, once I could breathe.

It was easier to say that in jest than to say what I truly felt.

He ran a finger along the line of my jaw before pinching my chin and pulling me in for a kiss. His ring was cold against my skin.

I slipped my hand between us until I found that perfect cock of his. He groaned, forehead down on my shoulder as I traced his length with my palm. His hands gripped my waist as I guided him inside.

My back against the blanket, I cradled his hips in mine as he moved languidly against me, his mouth making sweet, messy kisses across my lips. Another moment, another feeling to savor, holding his face, my eyes shut as he pressed deep inside.

I curled a hand over the back of his neck, hot for the way I could feel him growl. His hips began to move faster, his fingers sliding downward to find my clit.

“Oh god,” I moaned, the words half lost in his mouth.

He pressed his hips forward, replacing his fingers, and I found myself spinning toward delicious pleasure.

“Please.” Ben’s voice was hot in my ear. “Lauren. Please…fuck. I want to feel it. Need to feel it. Please, love, please.”

The accent was the final fucking straw.

I’d never been more grateful for the vastness of Montana than when Ben’s name echoed across a cornfield as I came for the third time.