“Then say yes.”
Saoirse flinched, taking a step away from me. “Stop it, Luca.”
My phone began ringing again, driving a spike into my aching head.
“You say yes to everyone else. You dropped everything to work for another man for free. But you won’t say yes to me? You love me and you won’t say yes?”
Her shoulders jumped and bunched around her ears, which told me I was louder than I’d meant to be, but everything was swirling out of control. She was supposed to be my fucking buoy. My soft place. And I couldn't get a grasp on her. On anything.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks when her eyes locked on mine. “You’re asking me to spill wine on myself.”
That brought me to a dead stop.
“What?” But I’d heard her—and everything behind those words.
“If I said yes to you, it would be to make you happy. And god, Luca, I want to make you happy. I would do anything for you to feel that way.”
I finished her thought since I knew exactly where she was going with it. “But not at your own expense, right? Being married to me for real would mean spilling wine on yourself. That’s how you see it.”
My phone rang again. This was the third or fourth time. Saoirse and I both turned in the direction of the grating sound.
“You should get that,” she whispered.
“We’re not finished talking.” But the phone wouldn’t stop ringing. In a moment of clarity, I remembered the crisis currently happening outside these walls.
I walked back to the entry. Seeing my dad’s name on the screen drew me up tight. Something was wrong.
“Hello?”
“Thank Christ,” he uttered. “You need to get down to Davis Memorial as soon as you can. Clara’s been in a car accident and they’re taking her into surgery to deliver the baby.”
Blood drained from my face. “No. Accident?”
“I’ll explain it when you get here. She’s going to need all of us around her.”
My heartbeat whooshed in my ears. “I’ll be there. Davis Memorial.”
Saoirse was beside me when I hung up, concern etched on the face I loved more than anything but could barely look at.
“Clara’s in the hospital. I need to go.”
She nodded. “Okay. Let me get my shoes.”
“I don’t have time to wait. My sister needs me.”
She murmured a protest, but it was too late. I was already gone.
Chapter Forty
Saoirse
I drove myself to the hospital, only a few minutes behind Luca.
But once I arrived, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to be there for him more than anything, but he was so very mad at me. I wasn’t happy with him either, but I could forgive him because I knew he was hurting.
I texted Luca to let him know I had arrived then took a seat in the lobby and waited.
And waited.
At some point, I must have nodded off because something woke me up. A touch, or maybe a presence. It didn’t matter. When I opened my eyes, Luca was standing in front of me.
His scruff was thicker. His eyes were hollow and bloodshot. His clothes and hair were disheveled, which was so incredibly unlike him. He looked beautiful, though. Sad, but a sight for sore eyes, as he always was.
“Clara?” I croaked.
He nodded. “She has a concussion and fractured collarbone. She’s asleep and hasn’t met her daughter yet.”
I swallowed back my tears and focused on my relief. “And the baby?”
“In the NICU, but she looks good.” He cupped his nape. “You should go.”
I climbed to my feet, wishing he’d open his arms so I could walk into them. “I want to be here. If you guys need anything, I—”
“No, Saoirse. I’m not going to allow my family to get used to you being around when we both know it’s temporary.”
It hurt. The hard look in his eyes. The distance he forced between us. We weren’t temporary, even if he believed that right now. The way I loved him wasn’t going away. We owed each other a conversation, more than one, but it wasn’t going to happen now. Not when emotions were high and defenses were even higher.
“But I would like to help if I can. I can stay down here and be on call if a need arises. I won’t get in the way.”
“You’re not getting it.” Luca’s jaw flexed and rippled before he spat out five words that vaporized every ounce of my hope we could find a way through this, striking me to my core. “I don’t want you here.”
My heart lodged in my throat, so big, I couldn’t breathe more than a wisp of air. My mouth attempted to form a brave smile, but it probably looked insane. Luca wasn’t focused on me. His eyes were distant. Like I wasn’t there anymore.
He didn’t want me. Not here or anywhere.
“Okay,” I rasped. “I’ll go. Tell Clara congratulations for me when she wakes up.”
I hesitated for a beat, giving us both a chance to change our minds. Luca remained impassive and far, far away, and I couldn’t stay for another second.
I left without another word, charging through the lobby and out the front doors. I wasn’t looking where I was going and ran straight into someone heading inside. They caught me by the biceps, steadying me.
“Saoirse?”
I focused on the man in front of me. “Elliot. I’m—”
“You’re crying.”
“Am I?” I touched my cheeks, shocked to find them wet. I thought I’d been holding back my tears.
“Is Clara…？”
“Oh.” My eyes rounded. “No, Clara is okay. That’s not—she’s okay, and I’m just leaving. It’s good you’re here for Luca. He needs a friend.”
Elliot hadn’t let go of me. “Why the hell are you leaving him? What he needs is his wife.”
I shook my head, letting my eyes fall to the floor. “He doesn’t want me here.”
His fingers tightened around my arms before letting go and giving them a gentle rub. When he spoke, though, he was all business. “Okay. I’ll check on Luca. Do you need me to arrange a ride home for you?”
“No. I’m fine. I drove myself.”
He peered at me with a pinched expression. “Are you sure that’s safe? You’re upset.”
I drew in a deep breath. I knew Elliot Levy well enough to know he wouldn’t let me leave his sight if he believed I was a danger to myself or others. His mother had died in a car accident, so he didn’t take driving recklessly lightly.
“I’m good, Elliot. I just need to get home.”
It took a few more minutes to convince him, but he finally let me go. I drove carefully, probably more than I would have if I hadn’t had Elliot’s disapproving glare on my mind. I didn’t want to hear his shit if I crashed my car, so I made sure I didn’t out of spite.
Even heartbroken, I couldn’t let Elliot Levy get the best of me.
Hours later, I still didn’t know what to do. Luca hadn’t come back, and the walls of our home were closing in. Being squeezed like this, I couldn’t sleep or think. I wanted him to come home so we could talk, but I dreaded it at the same time. He’d told me in no uncertain terms he didn’t want me around.